confessions

I’m not going to London

London is one of the world’s greatest cultural centers producing vibrant contemporary literature, art, theatre, and music.-Kennedy Center, London Program 2011

I’m not going to London this fall. I was two days ago. But now I’m not. And I feel like my big bright shiny yellow balloon I was once holding firmly by the string right under the latex and helium has been popped by a safety pin from the dress I wanted to wear on the steps of the Oxford Library. POP.

In addition to interdisciplinary collaboration, the program will emphasize a holistic attitude toward personal growth (intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and physical)

Pops:I’m very proud of you and your decision

 Me: Yeah, it’s hard though. Life is scary.

Pops: It is, but it’s wonderful to see you growing up. And I know you want to play and you can’t right now, and that’s a hard thing.

Me: It is hard. But I feel like it’s the right decision. Don’t you think?

Pops: I do.

•    VA 114 Drawing (3 credit hours): Satisfies GE Arts requirement

•    VASTU 480R Advanced Studio (3 credit hours)

•    VASTU 214 Aqueous Media Fundamentals (1.5 credit hours)

•    ENG 300 Literature in its Cultural Setting (3 credit hours)

•    ENG 218 Beginning Creative Writing (3 credit hours)

ENG 317 Writing Creative Non-Fiction (3 credit hours)

The first day of Spring semester I open up the course choices on my shiny new MacBook, scrolling frantically for a class to fill my schedule. English 218: Creative Writing is number two on the list of English classes. I don’t need it. It’s not required. Useless? Perfect. This is what I’d been searching for. This was the opportunity I’d been praying for, knees knocking together on my bunk bed, eyes rolling back into my head, almost falling asleep—begging for something to change. I add the class thirty minutes before class. I skip down the steps of the JFSB. I sigh a deep sigh of relief, joy, gratitude, adoration, excitement, peace, and a yearning to get a pencil in my hand at once. The words started coming.

Semester Dates
Fall        29 August –8 December 2011

Boyfriend: I will support whatever decision you make.

But if you go we will probably break up.

I’ll still write you emails if I have time.

But it’s your decision.

I’m the kind of person who would want to stay and progress.

And you want your own classroom right?

I can’t make the decision for you. You will not be told what to do.

Who knows what will happen if you stay.

Maybe we will get married, I don’t know.

But I don’t want to influence you…

“ I don’t want to tell you my opinion! Sometimes it’s not what you want to hear. I’m trying to work on the whole filter thing”

“Tell me mom. I need your advice.”

“I’ve been thinking and praying about it, and I feel like you shouldn’t go. Not because you could get married or you wouldn’t love it; because you have a life to live and you’re putting it off. Will this program help you progress?”

“No, I’ve already lived in another country. I’ve already had this experience.”

“Then you know what you should do.”

Fall 2011

London SA Fall

ACCEPTED

01/12/2011

CANCEL